&lets dance.

&its when you think back and realize.

2007-02-11T07:05:00.000-08:00

i cant help it.
after so long..

i still miss her =(

she's the one who helped me grow.
as a person through bad or good.
she was my friend.
and fuckit. i miss her.

we meet in the corridors or even at class.
unable to look each other in the eye and smile.

i just want us to be friends.
i guess.
i've forgotten all the bad.
and only remember the good.

can't help it.

might be stupid.

maybe it wasnt referring to me or anything.
i guess it just brought back lots of memories.

why can't we be friends?
why must there be so much hate and discomfort and everything.

FUCK IT.

i miss her. =(

and i wish she misses me too.

God. i so wish she misses me too.

xoxo

&so many days ago.

2007-02-11T06:38:00.000-08:00

and its been like. SO long since i came online. things happen kinda fast. and its already feb . CNY is coming!

so are o levels. i must so so so work hard.

=(

im so out of touch with EVERYTHING.

especially dongbang. what kind of fan am i? not even catching up on their news and stuff. i guess its cause i have no time and cause im always tired. studies and extra classes and stuff are just always so getting me down. okay i think i shall take out a day to use the comp every week.

sigh.

xoxo

its when things get rough
&you'll find out.
how strong you really are.

what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

&im tired.

2007-02-02T07:52:00.000-08:00

its been super long since i've come online.

and i find that there's NOTHING for me to do.
okay not nothing.
i know there's probably a lot of stuff that i can do, but i can't
seem to come up with anything in such a short notice.

fine. =/

and i'm like so so sick of feeling tired and listless and going around looking at people through half closed eyes.

and i hate anba. okay no i don't.
fine. i hate it when he makes my life difficult.

can you believe it. just because i DONT tuck in my shirt i have to get the new design of uniform that totally doesnt suit me? and by monday or i'll face [in house suspension} go to hell.

its like such a total waste of money. plus i had to get new socks. and it kept going up till i gave up and walked around with them looking like total leg warmers. THATS how high they are. damn irritating.

hahaha.

fuckass.

im just so tired. =(

o lvls are coming up. and i cant seem to have the willpower to get my butt on and really study. i keep saying [yea i will i will] but do i? no. my lazy ass never wants to study. how? ='(

save me please.

i'm really so so tired.

xoxo

ps: and i miss everyone and everything.

pps: i really do.

ppps: i don't wna drift from ANYTHING.

pppps: i just want things to remain like they do.

ppppps: where everyone is close with each other.

pppppps: except maybe there'yll be a boyfriend in my life.

ppppppps: i can dream on. =D

&all hailllll!

2007-01-25T06:07:00.000-08:00

seriously.

shut the bloody fuck up. SHUT UP.

i cannot stand the naggings that are going round. I can't stand it at all. What's wrong with me talking to a boy? Boys are just boys. no different from girls.

besides. no one will want me. im too ugly. Remember?

and it's so contradicting because i'm listening to Beautiful.

and it's like. wdf? seriously. i was on the verge of tears. i felt like screaming [SHUT UP!} at her. and i think she wanted to give me a big slap. fuck it.

my mother unhooked gentle and wanted to let him out. to freely run. and hopefully get lost. shit her. what ever she says about that dog is predictable.

{you can say goodbye to gentle.}

{if i don't feed him he will die.} BLABLABLA.

fuckfuckfuck.

and it's like. im so pissed already. cant they just shut up. even when i ignore them they can continue to talk as if i'm actually listening. and it gets so tiring.

seriously.

wdf. i'm so so tired...

of everything, basically.

someone save me please ='(

okay. today was.. okay.

i found out i don't much care what they say. {cause their words can't bring me down.}
and we went to nanyang poly.

boring. and tired.

and shiqi called me. and asked me to accompany her to bugis to get her audition clothes. and i seriously didn't want to because i was damn tired, but i still went. aren't i super nice? =D yes. shiqi i'm talking to you if you are reading this.

and she was LATE. LATE LEH. i sat outside the mrt station on the floor reading a book. evelyn called and i went complaining about everything.

i think... when ever i get really tired, i'm always bound to throw one of my hissy fits. and i so so feel like crying now.

sigh.

okay then went to bugis after shiqi came. then suddenly saw sebas. and i was thinking. {that guy looks familiar.} and it was him. LOL.

okay he brings a smile to my face. and he had his girlfriend with him. she is super pretty luh! much prettier then the pictures. and she was friendly and nice too.

and i asked him if he had money to lend me. =/ i think i have a bad habit. but i only had ten bucks with me luh! =///// and he took out twenty. and my eyes went O.O WOAH. hahaha and i took it. LOl.

then he told me he just went lock up. for idk what reason. weapon carrying or sth? and my first reaction was to point middle finger. so i did. and i walked away. and he followed me. with shiqi by my side and his girlfriend.

and she so sided with me =D cause she said he deserved it. hahahah.and i told him to cut his hair cause it was fucking long.

okay not that long.

and my mum is out again.

whatever. back to the point. then he smsed me and say the twenty dollars is a treat. woah such a nice kor. LOL. anyway im gg to return him luh just that i'll take a LONG time. haha

cause i'm kind of broke.

very.

RAH.

i miss him. and he made my mood good. =D

tomorrow is jaejoong's birthday.

For tomorrow, jaejoong is KING..

ALL HAIL KING JAEJOONG. =D

xoxo

&RAH RAH.

2007-01-23T00:57:00.000-08:00

i'm like. so stuck.

what song to sing?! shit ITTTT. save me? please?
i'm seriously stuck. and i don't wna sing cinderella again.

okay. i'm like considering ashlee simpson's catch me when i fall but he says

justin {anybody with a high voice can sing her song}

okay. point taken.

and sway.

mummy {you sound nice when you sing this i think i prefer you singing this song}

justin {i feel zi bei whenever i sing with you}

eve {you aren't sexy enough}

=(

and i don't think i can hit the behind high notes. crap it. and my sore throat just MIGHT be coming back again. RAH.

oh. was considering jojo's leave (Get out) too.

me {NOOO I CANT GET THE BEAT AT ALL.}

yea. so that's that. and now it's back to finding a song.

wish me luck dearest people.
okay. what ever. -..-

xoxo

&RAH.

2007-01-23T00:28:00.000-08:00

okay yes. i'm sorta MIA-ing. am i? no im not. its just that i've been busy with other stuff.

anyway. today a lot of people went home. okay not a lot.

darren goh didnt come.

yutong, louis, edwin, carson, whb and i went home. and pauline wong was so concerned .

pauline wong {i never had so much traffic come into the sick bay, and all from the same class.}

triple L {all from 4 charity? there's somthing fishy going on} or sth. i swear she said that. HAHA like some detective.

anba {why you feel like vomiting?}

me {cause i didnt eat for recess then i dno why i will feel like i want to vomit}

anba {of course if you didnt eat blablablabla}

then i went to the canteen got something to eat and went to the sick bay.

and my acting skills rock cause i'm not sick at all =D but carson was. and he was in the sick bay with me as well.

pauline wong suspects food poisoning or something. and she was like asking us {did you people go and eat anywhere at the same place?} and i was thinking .

{duh no?} hahahahahaha. =/

sigh.

everybody hasn't been feeling well, whether it has been for friends, or because of guys, or something else.

i can't believe i failed my english. i, am the ultimate loser. i failed my ENGLISH. God. save me.

and i've got to go to the docter. to get an mc. RAH.

and you know what? we've got to do flag day. on saturday. yes. thats right. SATURDAY. fuckit. FUCKIT.

can someone just wave a magic wand and solve all my problems.

it's like. so so so irritating lah.

=/

xoxo

&itslateinthenight.

2007-01-20T06:36:00.000-08:00

it was times like those i wanted a boyfriend so much.

yesterday... after the korean class. i was going back home alone. Usually i would find someone to call.

weewee was out. everyone was out. people couldnt use the phone. and i felt so damnnit alone. Like i couldn't even find someone who could call me.

and i thought to myself. [how great would it be if i had a boyfriend?] then there will be someone who might fetch me here and there. to accompany me on the phone when i'm alone. just anyone will do. anyone.

okay fine. not anyone. im like so greedy. i want cute guys. i want guys who will treat me right. i want guys who will love me. and yet i still want guys who arent fat and ugly and disgusting and flirts. okay i think i'm wanting guys who are like what other girls would want.

im like getting so despo-ed and i hate hate hate that feeling. that feeling of being lonely. at night. okay that sounds wrong. but it ain't physically lonely. ITS NOT. yuck. hm. i guess its kind of a {someone to be there for always} feeling. shit it.....!

RAH. im like so. insecure always.

maybe when it comes to down to this, everybody needs someone. someone please tell me that im not wrong for wanting a boyfriend. =(

and i'm like so totally nobody want. AISH. hate to admit the sad facts, but i am. GODDDDD KE LIAN WO BA. PLEASE.

okay and lately i've been praying.

not for a boyfriend. but for other stuff. and seriously . i feel so greedy. like. whats my problem lah? i prayed to God to ask Him to make it better. and He answered my prayers. Prayers to help me get over people. help me to grow up. help me to be a better person. have i not wanted enough?

human greed. we're all self centered and selfish.

xoxo

when it gets late in the night
it makes me miss you even more.
yes.
that non-existent you.

&imtakenforgranteeeeddddddd.

2007-01-19T22:31:00.000-08:00

im like feeling insecure again. wdf.

reassure me people. =) cause if i decide to give up, then theres byebye johanna. and i'll no longer be there. i've decided to walk away first before i get hurt. so yeah. if u treasure me, please be there for me and tell me that you love me. and i dno wdf im talking about.

anyway.

havent been on for around five days. it seems like an eternity. seriously. my o's are coming up. and i have to put down everything. i feel so distant from everyone. justin.. weewee.. evelyn.. and shiqi and...i dno. it's like.. we're all so busy hanging out with other people or doing our own stuff that we never bother to contact each other. okay weewee i just contacted with you <3.

the point is. i don't want anyone to take me for granted and think that i'll always be there, while he or she only calls me when they need me. i don't want that at all. maybe things have changed since. maybe we're no longer the best of friends. are we still? you make me think that there are others you wna hang out with. others you value more then me. are there?

i maybe be overly insecure. i maybe be too sensitive. what ever. that can never change in me. im negative. and what not.

fuckit.

i miss all of you guys.

xoxo

ps: gu-n gu-n update up next. maybe. i dno.

=(

&koreansandmorekoreans.

2007-01-14T01:27:00.000-08:00

just got back from my parent's korean's friends house. WOAH. im like so excited now. i want a korean boyfriend!
jaejooooooong~~~
HAHAHAH
anyway their elder son is HOT. okay he aint very tall, but he's taller then me. he has a decent dressing sense and he looks nice =D and he plays soccer and he's a korean.

what more do i wantttt.

okay he's sec three only.

LOL.

wdf. hahha im some despo aunty. !!! RAH i want a boyfriend =((((
hahahahahahah poor guy. bei wo ding shang le.

and shiki was like {its okay lah u're born in december one} OMO im laughing to myself. and karen was like {never mind lah as long as he's shuai} HAHAHAHAH . we are superficial people.

anyway. i couldn't resist. i went like {do you know dongbangshinki?} and he was like. {dong...bang...shin...ki?} equals to he doesnt know. then he shook his head then i went. {BoA?} then he went like.. {ah yes, i know BoA} and i went like {you like her?} and he went like.. {yea, some sort!} and i smiled at him and nodded my head. and end of conversation.

then dont know what happened and he looked at me and went {so she's abigail}points at twin. {and she's annabel?} then i went {uh huh.} then he went {and you are?} and i went -..- LOL and {johanna.} and he went {johanna...} they like to repeat stuff.

HAHAHAHA im like recounting everything.

okay so i was like mussing annabel's hair and stuff and i was being childish again. and abigail said that he was like looking at us and laughing like he was very amused. then i pull annabel hair and she got so fed up she went {PABO LAH YOU} in quiet tones. then i heard him go {mgphhggff} like muffled snort. HAHA like. wdf was she thinking. scolding me pabo infront of a korean. HAHAHA sia suay can.

LALALALA. i love today cause i got to meet my future korean boyfriend. no im just kidding. kim jaejoong wait for me! HAHAHAH.

xoxo

BACKBACKBACK

2007-01-13T06:39:00.000-08:00

TVFXQ SFC IS BAAAAAAACKKKK!
x))

xoxo

&rain rain rain rain.

2007-01-12T07:06:00.000-08:00

its been raining and raining and raining for the past few days. seriously. what is happening to the world? rain and stop rain and stop rain and stop. when's it going to end?

today, i announced that the world was going to end during our two hour break. then we discussed about what we would do if we only had twenty four hours to live.

the world is dying. Earth's resources are rapidly depleting, thanks to man's greed and want for more. the rich gets richer, and the poor gets poorer. why? if the whole world only gets twenty four hours to live.. i wonder what will happen. people will do all the things they never dared to do. the things they refrained from doing because they were afraid of the consequences.

i think.. the thing i wna do most is to actually make peace. with her. and them. the people in Africa and third world countries will die in the worst way. Dying before they were able to even enjoy life. is that fair? people say. Life ain't fair at all. Deal with it. but how can we? how am i supposed to help people out there. how? i'm only a kid.

maybe one day. when i'm someone. i swear. i'll do everything in my power to help those people. i swear.

rain rain go away.. come again another day..

i nearly had a heart attack just now. in the mrt. there was a plastic bag simply left there. and with all the death talk from earlier, my mind went wandering around. {what if it's a bomb?} {omg will it hurt?} above all, i felt fear. that i'd miss my family. i'd miss my friends. i'd miss doing whatever i would do if i could get over. it's kinda stupid, because when i die, maybe i'd cease to exist. is there a heaven? we can only wonder. and believe. there is. i know there is. but can i get into it?

or would i just go to hell. i'm a bad bad backslider. =( i promise to go to church but i break those promises. i pray every night requesting for more and more things from God. and i never do anything back. i screamed at Him just now when i was stranded in school. how rude can i get?

seriously. the world is dying. i want to do all the things i wanna do before i die.. i wna see dongbang. i wna grow up. i wna become who ever i wna be. even if i live, would i be all that? maybe dying only gives me more motivation.

hired a cab just now. when it came, the uncle was like {recently keep raining blablabla} then i told him. {uncle. shi ying wei the world is dying.} and i think he got shocked. i went on and on about how we must help the people and everything and that we must live life to the fullest. i tell that to myself everytime i get a reminder of how short our time is. every single time i see anything on African children. every single time. yet, i do nothing about my life. i continue spending money like it's water, continue laughing like nothing's wrong, and continue dreaming about unessecary stuff and fantasize about things that will never come true.

after this post.. i'm going back to that lifestyle. i cant do anything till i'm older. maybe i can just buy tissues from aunties and uncles who are selling. i cant do anything now but i swear i will when i grow up. i will. i will.

i'm going to achieve a hell lot of stuff when i grow up.
i'll be who i want to be.
=)

xoxo

till the heavens shine their light
and the angels start to sing
stay with me,
till eternity.

&because you're worth it.

2007-01-08T06:40:00.000-08:00

yay. new image although the previous one was waaaay much nicer =D
ima fan of my own work. hahahah anyhooooo.
im bored=/

bought a superman file just now. and a black paper holder thingy. and bryan was smart and he said. {you buy only because it's black right?} yes. bu kui shi humilty student. HAHA.

sat outside starbucks with justinminghui&byran. they gossipped while i listened. HAHA. i don't really gossip anymore. =/ like real. aiya but im not those zek ark types. okay whatever i've started blabbering again.

i'm switching off the computer at 11.

justin is dreading school. he hates his class. &i told him i didnt like school either but he went like {no but at least you have karen they all}. true. true. at least i have them =/

can't help feeling insecure. sigh. i guess it was right when they said that saggitarius is the most insecure of all the zodiacs. -..-

sighhhhhhh.

off to make more blog skin images.

maybe.

whatever.

hais.

tomorrow.

whatever.

186 days more.

xoxo

&187

2007-01-07T05:04:00.000-08:00

okay so i lied to jang shiki.
=D
and she believed me.
-..-

tomorrows another school day.
187 days more! oh yes, im still counting down. i'm going to count down down down. down till o's, down till i can leave that school.

went out with karen just now.. i arrived around 3 + when i was supposed to meet them at 1. HAHA then whb had to go as soon as i arrived cause sth cropped up.

my art is still so unfinished. TOMORROW HAVE SCHOOOOOL. sigh i still cant get used to the fact that school has reopened. oh yes i have to cut my nails.

GR. RAH ROAR.

weewee. dreams don't come true in real life. Seriously. They are representations of what you are troubled over in your subconcious. thats all they are. nothing more, nothing less. they aren't bad omens.

i hope my dongbang dreams can come true though =/

they seem far far away, and yet so close. &i've begun to see them as mere humans. i think that is a very good thing. =D

i've started blabbering to myself again.

today i opened myself up to karen. okay that sounds wrong.=/
anyway. i found out some stuff. one thing particularly made me feel darn shuang. =D WAHAH .

friends.

some come and go.
some stay forever.

the ones who stay, are the ones truely worth keeping.

stupid. what am i typing about -..-
sigh.
tomorrow.

xoxo

i cant seem to hate you.

&how am i supposed to know

2007-01-06T05:25:00.000-08:00

How am I going to know.

You once said I was your everything
You once said we belonged
Sayings just saying
They don’t mean a thing

You call me when you’re lonely
You text me everyday
You do just about everything
But you just don’t say

How am I supposed to know
You once said
Now I don’t know
And now we’re left here hanging
How am I supposed to know
If you don’t say, if you don’t show

Bridge:

Aren’t we supposed to be
Friends who aren’t simple friends
If you ain’t telling
I’m not saying

How am I supposed to know
You once said
Now I don’t know
And now we’re left here hanging
How am I supposed to know
If you don’t say, if you don’t show
How am I supposed to know
If you don’t say, if you don’t show
Then I’m leaving…

(Say you love me)

----

rah.
RAH RAH RAH.
roarrrr.

hear me roar
hear me rah.
roar rah roar rah.
ROARHHHHH
hahahahaha

mixed up twisted crazy wacky unidentifiable ecstacy.
x)

xoxo

&RAH RAH RAH.

2007-01-06T05:07:00.000-08:00

yeh whatever.
im going nuts soon. like. my dad shifted my com to near the tv. wdf lah okay i know it's no big deal but its like fucking noisy. and totally no privacy.

im gna shift it to my room as long as he is back and i can get the mic from him. then im going to record everlasting.

RAH.

everybodies having problems.

RAH.

anyway i changed the blogskin.

and we meet some 'ji sieow sieow} acrd to weewee. malays.
shiki literally dumped her whole dinner on her lap lah. &icant believe that guy actually asked us if can eat and ate a fry and picked up a piece of chicken from the floor. super yucks. and eve say he's like akira.

but he isn't at all. for one, akira's so much shuai'er. and akira is more cute. =D and he doesnt act like that. that guy is malay ah beng please. akira is japan weirdo king. <33333

tmr ima meeting karen&whb to do art. hope can finish in time. =D

RAHHHHH.
i feel irritated.
i dont know why too.

no more dongbang for me. =(

xoxo

ps: &i wrote a lame song.

pps: shall post it up later.

&OHHH.

2007-01-05T09:24:00.000-08:00

RAHHH.

okay it's the fifth day of school. =/ ok it was. whatever. im gna start blabbering to myself again anyway.
i think im gna change song but this song is really nice. -..-
see i invented that face! hahaha can anyone believe that it was a typo error at first.

KONNNN!

akiraa.~~

i want a boyfriend that is...
(not in order)
1: someone who's handsome.
2: someone who will love me no matter what.
3: be there 24/7
4: still sms me even if i don't give a reply.
5: tolerate me.
6: give in to my temper.
7: be so so sweet i die of diabetes.
8: someone who knows that little actions prove much more then big words, and actually act to that theory.
9: someone who is taller then me
10: he must be have a kind heart.
11: no vulgarities (subjected to changes)
12: its alright if he's stupid.
13: someone who doesnt care about my past.
14: someone who will give me an quan gan. (accrd to wee wee i'm a v insecure person. okay fine i am.)
15: someone who's sensitive.
16: a guy who will wait for me because i'm always v ma fan.
17: someone who is v gentlemanly.
18: rich? (subjected to changes)
19: likes dogs
20: doesnt tease my love for dongbang
21: puts up with my moodswings.
22: tolerates when im acting like a whiny ass.
23: help me carry bag.
24: honest.
25: decent dresser
26: be willing to beat up any assholes who bitch about me.
27: be v angry but still wont when i call him not to pok them.
POK! hahahahahaha.

aiya that list is rubbish.

most important. He must love me honestly.

second most important. He must be Kim Jaejoong from Dong Bang Shin Ki.

RAH.

fifth day of school. 187 days more =D
fuck leh.
my parents want me to sleep.
I DONT WANT.
its like . only 1.34 lor.
KAO.
GO AWAY GO AWAY.

GO GO GO

-..-

i also dont know how i'm going to survive.
what made me strong is my greatest weakness.
weewee.. ='(

enter leow leow the matcchmaker.
omo i cant believe she said {betterhalf}HAO HAO XIAO!
x)
i love her.
and i love pbc and whb too.
<3

sigh.
i hate people who can lie about anything and still feel that they didnt do anything wrong. i hate it so much!
i also hate people who talk about other people as if they are perfect.
i hate hate hate people who gossip like aunties in markets.

and look look look.
aish
its okay we're all gna be somebodies and forget about those nobodies.
=D they're destinied to be aunties in markets.

forget it..

this post was made when the blogger was @&#)@.

=)

xoxo

&firstdayofschool

2007-01-03T05:57:00.000-08:00

im gng do kr revision soon.
going to bathe after i blog.
hahahahaha . im like so unhygenic. haven't bathed. =///

anyway. first day of school..
hai hao lah.
betterthen what i expected? nah
around the same HAHA

i dno why im blogging in lil lil paragraphs.
anyway.
training on saturday! followed by eve's kr class and drx time!
cant wait to go make my face.
HAO SHU FUUUU.

hope tmr will be better ba.
&first day of sch jiu gt caught.
stupid anba.
okay hes nice.
anyway hmm have to cut my nails and stuff.
BAH.

go le.
wish me luck for tmr!

xoxo

&imsorrrrrryyyyyy for idk what

2007-01-01T12:28:00.000-08:00

i think im beginning to like blogging more and more, seeing how i'm going crazy and am starting to talk to myself.

okay luh im even weirder. i only talk to myself when there are others around. sigh. today's my last night of sleeping late.

school starts on weds. hao ke pa!

okay luh hai hao. it's just that... sigh. i dont know leh.

i'm always like that before school officially starts. i get emotional at times like new year, christmas, christmas eve, and on birthdays. am i a freak or what?

there was this thing weewee sent me about saggitarians. my spelling sure fail. okay anyway.

it said that saggitarius is the most insecure zodiac amongst the other zodiacs. maybe. i guess i AM insecure.

hahahaha i think i scared shiki that day. she's only beginning to see a little side of me.

i remember that time when eve and i were studying during exam period. then there was that haze thing..
then i started writing in the diary and i was listening to timeless. then after that i started crying. then shiki called i think then i recall eve telling me something she said to shiki at that time, going raftly like she think i very scary or sth& that i kept replaying timeless and kept on crying. HAHA

i thought of a super wu liao thing to do.
i shall ask the other two to do an analyzation of all of us. HAAHAH. and i post it here so that i won't forget. okay i WILL forget but this will be here to remind me. see, im smart

yet again, i'm reminded of how i'm mindlessly blabbering to myself.

RAH i hate cockroaches.

really really really hate.

bees&cockroaches. yuck.

HAHAHAH. shall think of more sentimental quotes.

oh yes. i looked at my dog just now and he looked kinda green. and it turned out to be my eyes. HAHA after like staring at a HOT pink background for dno how long. -..-

COLOR BLIND.

说你不重要，
也许这也是另外一个谎言。
就像一直对自己说，
我从来没放过你在心上。

does that even make any sense? =/
future poet or song writer maybe.
alalala i rock.
twits suck.

ah forgive me. it's getting late.

im fine. who needs you anyway?

xoxo

&gaotianqi!

2007-01-01T11:17:00.000-08:00

-..-

okay that's like the weirdest face i've ever made on msn.
my face has two nostrils!!

x)

oh my God ew. there was like an ant crawling on my arm. without hesitation i reached over and flicked it off. Sorry ah. natural instinct. =/

then there was the cockroach thing. EW lah. i can't believe eve actually prefers cockroaches to lizards. i bet she's crazy or something. lizards aren't able to fly or anything. and they are able to look semi non disgusting, unlike cockroaches which look plain disgusting from which ever angle when viewed. gross.

yesterday one flew to the mirror behind me when i was happily listening to highschoolmusical ost. ruined my mood. thought it was like a really big beetle, so got to a safe distance and squinted at it. like YUCK LAH. i got this good view of a large, disgusting dark brown cockroach with it's antennas twitching away. EEEE.

yucks. YUUUCKKKS. shudders* then i calmly took my handphone, and my dog, and scooted into my parent's room. oh yes i forgot to mention that everyone was out. and it was like three in the morning. yuck.

like what i told a dozen other people, when i'm president of the world, i will BAN all insects. MWAHAHA. -..-

then no cockroaches can ever come within seeable distance.

daddy caught one cockroach just now. he held it up by the antenna and walked to the kitchen. I WAS IN THE KITCHEN. omo. then i screamed like shit. and and and... cried=/ it's not my fault if i'm fucking scared of that large wriggling super disgusting insect. i wonder how my dad can stand holding its antenna with his bare hands.

shudders some more *

this entry is full of cockroaches.

so i shall blog about gao tian qi.

i wonder what is it about him that makes me able to like him for so long. is it the fact that he stuck to the basketball court even when he could continue a career in showbiz? maybe. he's not even too hot lah! i can't believe he's ranked above THE KIM JAEJOONG. amazing i tell you.

been reading up on fics again. fics that involve him as gaoxing. omo~~

wenting shook his hand! HAHA i shall shake her hand next time so i'll indirectly touch his hand -..- okay that was kinda primary school-ish.

lalala.

i love kimjaejoong.
i love gaotianqi

he was the reason i began to like no. 9.
aw man im so attracted to guys who play basketball.
cute guys.
AISH.

eve said sg guys most should know how to play basketball.
eh i also know how to play.
rarely do you see a guy who really looks as shuai as him when gtq plays bball. woahhhh.

am i like the only one who's still obsessing over him? i have no idea how to spell obsessing. okay whatever.

when i go to taiwan, i shall go and find him. i sweaaar.

in this lifetime, i have to meet at least one of my ou xiangs.

or not hor. it will be kinda pointless to be a fan.

gaotianqi more reachable cause he more ulu. which is great!
ahhh gtq i love youuuuu.

stopit.

im like talking to myself already.everytime i go to eve's hse i wind up talking to myself cause she can't understand what i'm talking about. -..-

i think i'm going crazy.
lalalala
its 3.34 in the morning.

ah anyway i think i was chao zai to be able to count down to the last second. HOHO. chao zai de.

x)

i love you.

sigh..

you're always more beautiful in my memories.
in my dreams, you're always gone
the moment i open my eyes.
at least in my memories,
you'll stay forever.

xoxo

&happynewyear!

2006-12-31T07:37:00.000-08:00

okay its like... 22 minutes till the next year.

everyone's counting down, be it people outside, or people at home. this year i'm staying at home. next year? i wna go out and party=x

year 2006. it has been another year where i grew up. this, is going to be a sentimental post.

okay firstly, the biggest thing that happened is that i fell in love with dongbang. everything else seems to pale in importance. and i met a great bunch of friends whom i'll never forget.

2006 has also been an important year for me because i finally decided what i wanted to be, and actually took a step in that direction.

i overcame quarrels and problems with friends, and family. i grew up, basically. cause now i know whats important and whats not. im learning how to let go and how to actually accept things for what it is.

people come and go. the people who have stayed with me throughout are the ones who are truely friends, and people who really matter. throughout my tears and rantings, they have stood by me. when i was hysterical and when i was steaming, they were there to lend an ear. thank you. you know who you are, and if u guys ever read this. thank you.

2006. it passed by so so quickly. somehow, i feel more sentimental this year then for any other years. 2007. what will it be like? i hope it will be another PEACEFUL. fruitful, and super great year. i know i'll have to put down some things in order to manage my time. i might have to put aside dongbang to concentrate on xlf, or on my studies. PAITING! they had such a postive impact on my life. even if they will NEVER ever know it, they really helped me alot. im sure they had such an impact on others too.

okay i shall try to use this blog for very long.

12 more minutes.

this year, has been. eventful. good, and bad. laughs and tears.
im determined to make 2007 work.
no one shall ruin it. i shall smile. i shall learn how to forgive. i shall be a nice johanna. not an unreasonable one. i shall try not to spend more money. i know it might be impossible. but still.

on the tv, they are aready counting down.

ten more minutes.

i swear im not going to think much of him. i shant feel sad whenever i think of him. not anymore. when 2007 comes, im going to be a brand new me.

nine more minutes.

im going to treasure everyone around me. i will let everyone know i care. i will be a good friend to people who love me.

eight more minutes.

i will study hard . i will not slack. i will not sleep during lessons. i will pay attention. i will not fail maths anymore. i will try my hardest to pass my o's. i do my best in my studies. a lot of impossible stuff, but heck it. its MY new years resolutions aint it?

seven more minutes.

i will be a good daughter to my parents. i will be a nice cousin to the little cousins. i will be a nice older sister to my sisters. i will not shout when im pissed. i shall try. =/ i really will. too many resolutions? maybe. but i will try really really!

six more minutes.

im not going to be too naive. i shant trust too much. i'll only open myself up to people i can trust. that way, i wont gt hurt =) i will become more mature and put aside petty stuff . and stop being too unreasonable or sensitive.

five more minutes.

i will slim down. i will stop eating so much. i will overcome my fears. i will become more confident. i will get rid of my pimples. i will be a better person throughout i will be thin for 2007!

four more minutes.

i dont really know what to say. i will be a better dongbang fan. better as in not blindly buying their stuffs. i will admire their music. i wont fantaasize about stuff that can never happen. =) i shall concentrte on doing stuff that will actually be able to happen.

three more minutes.

i will make my dreams come true. i will. i will not slack. i will not. i will try my hardest and do my best for xlf! improve my singing, go and learn dancing, do what ever it takes.

two more minutes.

i love my dog. i love my parents. i love my *sisters* i love my friends. i love sfc. i love weewee. i love eve . i love shiqi. i love everyone who loves me. i love them. i will treasure them.

last few minutes before midnight.

one minute.

i... will go back to church.
=)
i will not be self centered.
i will not be greedy.
i will love God because he loves me.
counting down!

everyones crowding in frotn of the tv.

9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!
DONGBANG HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

xoxo

&9a9a

2006-12-28T07:18:00.000-08:00

lala i dont care. this is going to be a long post on the issues of the world. yea man. like real. HOHO.

should i like continue making graphics? hahahaha.
i think not. shall just continue editing my beautiful pics -.-
tmr im going out! with bestfriend and her master. LOL we're meeting at one! i shall try to sneak off with the hundred bucks my mum forgot to take back frm me. HAHA. and we'll take lots of pics and i will come back and edit. HOHO i love zi pai-ing. pity im not photogenic at all!

=( hahahaha i just bluffed weewee that i met luo zhi xiang in taiwan. yes its nice to dream.

omg i had a bad dream last night. BAD BAD DREAM. i was pregnant, and was going to marry. and the worst part? THE GROOM WAS EFFING UGLY. omg. LOL so yea i ran away. LOL

sigh.
idk why i have such weirdo dreams.

anyway, abigail found maggots in the hamster cage just now. like wdf YUCKS. and i havent bathe but im going soon.

for the 274659302th time, i swear im going on a diet. =x
HURHUR. maybe if im determined enough i shall stick to it. but i cant survive without food! omg. aiyo photoshop slows my whole com down. -.-

be back later with more rantings which will go unnoticed.

xoxo

&2.28am

2006-12-27T10:11:00.000-08:00

hoho. im so so cold.just came back from doing photoshop, and im so so colddddd. did i mention that? daddy's bugging me to get off the com.
anyway.

long time since i posted any photos.

here are some.

weewee's legs. when we were working.

shiki and i on christmas eve.

pretty water at esplanade's library. that library is pretty much useless for borrowing books.

sitting at a stairwell. with weewee waiting.

its 2.24am and im still cold.

i wish i were strong enough.
strong enough to not need you.

my resolutions spoilt everytime.
maybe still i cant let go.
one day i swear i'd forget.
till then...

im one drama queen baby.

xoxo

&lahasd

2006-12-27T07:39:00.000-08:00

there was like this earthquake somewhere, and now our internet connections are screwed cause of it. rah. it takes quite long to even type too! hence, i decided to come and blog.

school is starting in like a few days. went to school with karen today, to buy books. hoho i missed her . bc's still in china i guess. long time no contact with whb too . =( now, im using microsoft photo editor to edit my photos its some lan peh program, but will have to make do. aw gosh im getting sick =( all those chocos and my lack of willpower.

this month, i did alot of things. i think. the feeling is like i did do lotsa stuff. okay lets see. i worked. i shopped. i played. i got through the exams, we did the auditions. yep its quite alot.

when school reopens, i'll have to do my homework. which i havent started on yet. i'll do it soon! i promise. maybe. i think. =x

will be back or sth =)

xoxo

&laggylaggerlagging

2006-12-23T08:12:00.000-08:00

okay i'm back at my own house le.

meeting weewee tmr. going to church.

my christmas cards haven't even do finish. AHHHH. shall stay up tonight. tmr too.

monday theres the sfc thing. afterwards dno how im spending my christmas alrd.

TSZX! sigh. i have no idea why they aren't that popular. their voices are great!! new band i found out today! haha. xing. the youngest member, kevin, is fifteen too!

sigh. i miss dongbang.

comp lagging.

xoxo

&audition

2006-12-22T10:50:00.000-08:00

today was audition day!

first, wanjun and nic came over to eve's hse.. then we sat there and discuss for awhile then went out to eat and buy materials blabla..

then.. omg.

audition. they were so nice lah! along with honey and laogong. they actually waited till it was our turn. took quite a long time too! <3

okay. now to touch on the audition.
we had three people.. two wireless mics plus one wired. i took the wired one. omg. was so so so scared of tripping. cause i always manage to fall down and look stupid. thus, i held on to the wire for dear life for the first few minutes. aish. mianhae!

i think i screwed my rhythm for some parts too.. then some dancing parts i too rushed. AISH.

but i think we were okay la considering its first audition =x expect to get rejected. lala. nvm

PAITING!
=D

xoxo

ps: dear shiki.
im sick too.
thanks ar

pps:
wee wee im sorry tmr cant accompany you.
<333
see you on sunday =D

"es.

2006-12-21T08:36:00.000-08:00

is this going to be some emo post? night two at eve's house. shiqi went home just now. yesterday we stayed up till around four. Eve was already sleeping. and she kept laughing. Shiqi i meant.

i highly suspect shes crazy=/ waha and she did christmas cards. guess what my dear. i shall do them too =x

my theme shall be black and white. and bronze plus silver. nice? i hope so. shall do it later in the night.

went shopping with a hundred bucks. went to make ic photo in the morning. it was utterly horrible. =/ embarrasing. then met with melty, honey and laogong tgt with eve at ps.then, we went to eat and all while waiting for dear wanjun. lala. i cant believe i only bought a pair of jeans. ONLY! *@)@ spent the rest on christmas cards and stuff.

then at night went to melts hse. omg its super cool! haha the pool table is like concealed and everything, as a dining table. ah. then we played pool until left me and laogong playing.

omg i think honey's super xing gan. when she dance just now. OMG. so xing gan! haha yen's hot. =/ like the way she dance luh. bu kui shi dancer from young. then at night ordered mac and stuff and did christmas cards. =D

tmr's the audition.

sigh. okay shall close off with a quote.

i like it =)

there's so much about me that you don't know
&you'll never understand.

we don't lose our friends. we simply find out who our real ones are.

somewhere deep in your heart, is someone whom you're dying to forget,
but living to remember.

always FORGIVE. but never FORGET.
learn your mistakes, but never REGRET.

xoxo

&lala

2006-12-20T03:22:00.000-08:00

watching hana kimi now at eve's hse. tonight is sleepover night! fun fun. wahaha.

im hungry T.T ate alot alot these few days. okay nothing new. but i feel fat. =(

audition on friday! tmr gng shopping! haha but haven't decided go where. x=

im typing in lines lines lines.

lala. its like hostel life. x))

be right back!

i want n73 =((( mummy say its out of stock though. i wnt i want i want!!! x=

xoxo

&lala

2006-12-18T08:21:00.000-08:00

i lost my temper today. kinda. =x
its just that i cant stand tht a**hole guy.
BAH i know i was totally rude to him and all. like what i told eve, [please and thank you were at the tup of my tongue. i just kept it in] i must sound like some bitch yah.
i think im so crude. can't hold it in though.
LALA.
hate it. i hope i can keep my new years resolutions. please please. im getting fatter and fatter.
i dno why these posts always sound like im some... maybe i am luh.
contradicting.

i shant be late tomorrow or liow wee wee will KILL me. =( ima late queen. tmr meeting with seller for my online stuffs. yay! =D and on thursday, we're gg shopping! im staying at eve's hse frm weds to friday though.
materialistic materialistic materialistic. my com is super lag now. =( i want n73 please! then i can take loads of pictures. =D and blast dongbang songs. i shall stay of chips and all. plus fatty stuffs.

tomorrows the last day of work! =D cant believe its all over so quickly. i'll miss wee wee. even though we say we're gng church together on sunday. sigh.
i wna be thinnnnnn.

xoxo

ps: eve ah get well soon! =D

&laala

2006-12-17T08:41:00.000-08:00

i am 5'4, 108 lbs. went to some yahoo thing and searched. omg im so so so fat >< got to lose weight!

i never seem to have the willpower to though. even now, i'm hungry. =( yea the fortune teller was super right. the mole at the corner of my mouth is a greedy mole. i shall REMOVE it! RAHHHHH. someday. just not now. i shall be so determined to not get up and get something to eat. RAH. im hungry =/

lets search for my BMI. i bet it's super unhealthy or something. i want to be thin thin thin like shiki! sigh. the world isn't perfect. if only i could snap my fingers and tadahhhhh! im thin.

sigh. i notice a trend in today's posts. so so so materialistic. and so superficial. God save me. i said i wanted to go back to church. but did i? no i didn't.

RAH.

ah forget it. shall go online shop =)

xoxo

you were never there.
not when i turned around.

&--

2006-12-17T03:15:00.000-08:00

i want a new phone.
i know i blogged a minute or so ago.
BAH.

they're wasting money on unessecary stuffs. okay i know i am too. whatever. BAH. i want n73 can can? =( that's my dream phone! i want i want i want. drools *

gah i sound like some lil materialistic girl. okay luh i am. who isn't? who doesn't crave for something more? i know i do. sigh. i want that phone...!

i havent been going to the forum. i'll probably get lost there.

i don't wna be lazy anymore.
i don't wna be an unreasonable daughter.
i don't wna scream at my sisters.
i don't wna be materialistic.
i don't wna fail.

sigh.

xoxo

&im nuts.

2006-12-17T03:03:00.000-08:00

freak luh. i hate them. bloody shitheads.

and im supposed to say [wo yuan liang ni] go to hell.
its a super small matter.
my laptop's desktop is disfigured thanks to that sister of mine. omg. -.-
idk what went through her mind when she decided to create everything and pin everything to the desktop.i suppose she thinks its nice. wdf now i have to put everything back. thanks alot my dear.

supermini thing. wdffffff. i guess im just in a bad mood? then my dear dad came and screamed at me. bth.then he told me to ask someone if i didnt know how to make everything back. i thought my answer was a good one and made perfect sense. [of course i'll ask the person who did all this correct? i ask you you know meh?!] yes and i was right. after fiddling around. tadah! he didnt know how to make it back.

stupid shitters.

got to revise korean. irin's korean is so much better then mine luh.

shall repeat the mantra. "i must forgive...." "wo yao yuan liang..."

aish. mianhae. i didnt mean to scream. okay maybe i did. BAH. i hate feeling guilty after i overeacted or acted like some big missy. RAH.

i hate you you you you you! sigh. ='(

xoxo

&@(#@

2006-12-15T08:34:00.000-08:00

rah.

its so irritating when you find you're down for no ryhme or reason. its pretty assholey when its always because you're thinking too much. freak.

let me be.
its not as if you care anyway.

rah. lets smile to my mum. lets smile to my dad.
there's nothing wrong here.

no i shant cry. tears are weak. at least for now. i don't want anymore weaknesses.

go away.
go away.
go away.

why can't moodswings go away. why i can't i be on a virtual high 24/7. why can't i always stay positive.

it's as if no one gives a fck. not anymore.
or maybe they didnt give any in the first place.

i'm always expecting too much.
i'm always thinking too much.

i shall laugh like there's nothing wrong with me.
nothing wrong at all.

ps: happy birthday kim junsu =)

xoxo

&lala

2006-12-12T05:45:00.000-08:00

hm. honey yen and salad jingyu wrote a fic for me! sweet luh they all. =D

not really in a mood to blog.
however... sigh.

i really love my blog song! and i have to buck up on my korean so i can blog in korean. and speak in korean. i think i wouldnt survive in korea though. the food should be quite spicy and stuff. ima not sure, never tried it. watched the arirang (spelling) show just now. there was something on the korean wave, on dancing. sorta like street and break dancing. i think the way they dance was GREAT. omg?! like they could do things i'd never ever seen before, even on tv. the way they spun around so effortlessly. WOAH. =D i love it.

sigh. fortune teller came today. he said that i didnt have too good a temper, and was impatient. and he said that i would marry late. by that he meant late twenties and all. blabla. all the stuff was quite zhun.
sigh. and he said that 我们原谅！that means that we have to learn how to forgive, which is quite true. forgive and forget. actually i've done that a long time ago. forgive and forget. i made mistakes too. who doesnt? forgive and forget. move on. let go.

everything links back to my dear friend. i shan't expect too much out of someone who can't give me anything. =) i shall simply be there.

im working towards my dream. our goal. that's what it is. look at dongbang standing on the stage. they had their times when they thought like this too. maybe? 서라붕 바이팅! auditions this friday. JIA YOU! hope we get in. i think i want this too much to let it go. i want it so much i can't see myself doing anything else. maybe. what if i can't? what if we don't suceed? never mind. try and try again.

sm is such a big place.

sigh. JIA YOU!

pictures gg be put up soon =D

xoxo

&lalawonderland.

2006-12-11T07:56:00.000-08:00

老天真爱开玩笑。原本说。。忘记忘记一定要忘记。今天。。

i think it's a huge joke. seriously. leaving or not? yeah. i dont want things to end. i want you to be there. can you?

whenever i expect too much you're never there. when i want to forget, there you are. is this not a joke? stupid.

today i told wee wee i would blog about her. okay then i shall =/
i love love her. and we're getting mushier everyday. seriously. yes i tell almst everything to her and i hope she'll do the same.. =D nah actually i dont know what to say.
shes a great friend who'll always listen and never judge. that's the most important factor. even though we don't meet up at all(except for recently), we still are close. maybe like what someone said. you dont have to talk to stay close. to me, wee wee will always be someone i can call no matter what. i loveyou girl =D

omg.

sigh.

and u were sweet to wait for me around my house. lala so sweet. even my mum said so.

ilu.

xoxo

i'd try hard not to believe that without you i'm nothing.
then i'll open my eyes to find that i really can't imagine me without you.

asshole. go away.
no don't.
bah i can't make up my mind.
either be there forever or go away before i fall further.

&happybirthday to me.

2006-12-10T07:30:00.000-08:00

okay happy birthday to me again! =D
anyway, today was the lws exam.

reached kbox at cine and sang sang sang. practice for songs and everything. karen (the makeup person) helped us makeup in kbox and we kept dragging the time. and today i noticed people looking at me up and down esp small kids and aunties. they must be noticing my attire and everything luh. asses. =x

then proceeded to lws. i stole a star stirrer thing frm kbox=D its so freaking cute i couldnt help myself. ohwell =/ then...practiced ying yue hai in the club house.

was freaking nervous. it didnt really sink in till i sat down waiting for the thing to start. then the thing started. there were people walking around outside. scary man. then it was my turn. hm. went up and fumbled a lil. oh well. then started singing. AHHH. hand shook. then i kinda went omgomgomg. hm. thank you to the girl standing outside who smiled at me. that lil gesture made me more confidant =D. kamsahamnida!
woots. then it was over. after tht my heartbeat accelerated. i am so lag hao bu hao.

five more mins to go.

anyway. shiki is disappointed in herself and she thinks she will fail. have no idea how to really comfort her cause i also not vry sure if i will fail plus i already told her she wont fail.. sigh.

cheer up my dear!

uv 134, i'll always remember you guys.

ariel, who can be as good as our tcher. the one who organized everything and the adult among us. the one who introed karen to help us do our makeup and the one who taught us better ways to sing.

ellie, the one who loves love loves kelly. the one who refuses to take pictures, the one who gen wo shi tong yi guo de ren.

elieen, the cool rock kinda girl whos extremely preety. the one who knows all the weird weird songs that we all never ever heard of before. the one who always goes to malaysia =D

alvin, the guy whom we always 'bully'. the guy who always says jie mei 184! -.- and the one who always says 'lets go!' oh yes and the one who likes .... HAHA. =x

irin and shiki i dont need say le ba? the ones who make seo ra pung whole. =D the ones who i love love love <3

its past twelve. its over.

my alter-ego is kaei. she shall be who i am not. when im her, i can be everything im not. Anyone, but me. =)

im not confident enough. thats what brings me down the MOST. i have to build that up and get over everything.

i dont wna be stuck in an office as an adult. i wna live my dreams. thats what i told melty. impossible is nothing. nothing is impossible.

forget it. he hasnt wished me at all. fuck. whatever. shouldnt have expected anything at all. =D i shall be happy and forget he ever came into my life. childish? thats the only way to erase the traces.

xoxo

ps: i love dongbang.
pps: i wna be just like them
ppps: lala. i love dongbang.

& its mybirthday

2006-12-09T08:06:00.000-08:00

im officially six minutes into being fifteen.
another day older and another year wiser.
am i really?
i feel like crying. oh well.
i wonder if he'll remember.
forget it.

todays the exam too! =D
AISH.
i shall force my mum to sing korean happy birthday for me
twinnies are getting me stuff to!
wah lao damn sweet.
=DD
i love them.
seriously i do.
even though we argued a few hours back.

God im so grateful cause You gave me everything i have now.
i love you.

xoxo

&nono

2006-12-08T08:01:00.000-08:00

went for korean class today. it was FUN.

went for work with wee wee. as usual i was late =/ i think there's always something stopping me from being early. got to get rid of that bad bad bad habit. sigh. arrived for work. did some random stuff that involved selling clothes and everything. oh yes. wee wee's so proud that she sold 86$ worth of stuff to an aunty =/ fine lor . ahaha!

lunch, it was raining so so so heavily. then we had to walk to the market in that horrible rain. my shoes got so so wet and i could feel water sloshing around. damn gross. wee wee got splashed by a car and she insists that her bad luck for the rest of the day was thanks to a black cat -.- lala. ice kacang + porridge. mailed my first letters today. =D

after that rushed down to city hall. we got lost thanks to me. see i admit =x im kind of a direction idiot but at least i got us to pennisular plaza! haha and the tchrs name is chaeyeon! so exciting. and she likes dongbang too! =D wah seh can! haha she went like dongbang joahaeyo! or something like that. learnt easy stuff.

there were supposed to be twenty people in the class but only 14 turned up. aish. hmmmmmmmmmm. took pics today with wee wee. shall send her next time. lala

xoxo

&you're all that i want

2006-12-07T07:55:00.000-08:00

im feeling bad now. kind of down, for no reason at all. work work work. it's getting monotonous (spelling) and im tired. business has been bad at the warehouse sales, and so yeah we've been slacking.

today, there wasn't any sneaking off to eat ice kacang. fell asleep and woke up when wee wee kicked me awake cause my aunt came back =/ all of us were falling asleep.

oh yes. chloe's sucha cutie. i love her luh. her english is so so good and she gets high easily. oh yes she's obedient too. if she's not allowed to go down or anywhere, she doesn't kick up a fuss or anything. i think if it were me at her age, i'd be whining and kicking up a helluva storm. sigh. she's going back to malaysia on saturday but she said she was going to visit us on friday! haha && she wished me happy birthday too. aw man i'm going to miss her for a few days.

luckily there's wee wee to keep me company. i think i'd be bored to death if not. sigh. i keep waking up late nowadays. i dont know why but everytime i try to be early i'd still end up late. it's kind of sad actually.

okay tmr's korean class with melty and laogong! =D finally can go and learn. i hope i can keep up cause ima bit stupid. sigh.

lala. i hope i get high soon.

xoxo

ps: theres no dongbang. and i realized that wee wee liked dbsk way way way earlier then i did. just that she's not as obessed. long time since i translated news. im tired from working. shall not put of translating. SIGH.

&diediedie

2006-12-05T08:03:00.001-08:00

Finally i found out how to post. Open it in another window and TADAH.
hm. anyway tomorrow there's work again. and after that is rehearsal at eve's karaoke room. sigh the exam is coming. so is my birthday.
i'm nervous. so so nervous.

have to go soon.
sigh.
byebye.

xoxo

&diediedie

2006-12-05T08:03:00.000-08:00

&imalwaysthinkingofyou

2006-11-22T04:49:00.000-08:00

shit it. my mood is dropping drastically.
jaejoong, is adopted.
okay. thats not a big deal.
the big deal is that his dad is coming back. like, he wants jaejoong back.
whats the point?
if you abandon your wife and your child, leave once and for all.
he has the nerve to come back and want to fight for jaejoong like some.. toy?
i know its bad for me to think this way.. but does he want him for his fame?
for his popularity? thats the first conclusion i jump to.
yuan lai.. jaejoong had such a hard time when he was young too.
at least yoochun got to be with his parents, even if it was a very bad time.
jaejoong was given by his mother to people whom he wasnt even related to.
how old could he be?
he MUST be aware. imagine, knowing the fact that he was abandoned by his parents.
oh yes. that must be a great feeling.
eff it. FUCK.
a big big thanks to jaejoong's adopted parents for raising him.
ta zhen de hao ke lian...
like, got a lot of stuff happen to him.
anyone notice a pattern?
like, theres always something bad that will happen to them...

stay strong.
i shall pray tonight.
fuck the world upside down.

xoxo

&nuttyandnuttier

2006-11-21T16:47:00.001-08:00

lalalalalala.
i think i'm so not awake yet. eve thinks so too. fell asleep at 4-5 again yesterday. shit. i think i should lock the TV up.
shes watching over the rainbow... its 7 minutes to 9 right now and i'll have to go soon. aish. im hungry. again.
why does it seem like every post im hungry? i still remember once when melty said that whenever she talked to me, it always seems like im eating. LOL. yes yes. aish cant help it. -.-
im hungry. feel like eating wanton mee.. duck... the cheap cheap jap noodle thingy at cine... roti prata... my GOD. kill me please.
meet up later! finally man. sigh.
im tired. wonder if i'll be super tired later.
SHALL GO FREEZE SPOONS. read somewhere if you freeze spoons and put it to your eyes they'll instantly look alert. and God knows i need it. my eyes are all droopy now. droops -*

i think i shall call my next dog... cookie. nono. that sounds like someone else's dog. err..

JOHANNA {DONG BANG SHIN KI} five. only five, always five. says:
i thinking of a name for my future dog. lol
eve says:
jaejoong
JOHANNA {DONG BANG SHIN KI} five. only five, always five. says:
eh cannot! lol next time jaejoong dno who i calling!HAHAHAHAH

lol then she said i hadn't woken up yet. oh yes i so agree.
sigh.
i wonder if my dad or mumu left me money.
i dont wna be so materialistic but sigh. im a materialistic person. but not so till i have to spend excessively on branded goods that i'd be obviously unable to afford. and what about those dongbang stuff?
like what i recently began to say... {SM knows that there will be people out there who will be willing to pay... and we're those people who will willingly zhong ji.} stupid? no. i think its worth it... made a list of stuff i want.
so far, one is fulfilled. maybelline mascara. wanted the xxl thing or sth, but my mumu bought the latest one for me. its too early. i cant recall the name.

i shall go get ready. and wake up in the meantime.
my body takes time to fully load. im a super super lag computer.
HAHA.
shit i think i have insomia. do i? =x
crap. school's out and i can't stop trying to get sick.
next year is the O YEAR! omGOD.
OOOOOO, OOOOO , OOOOOOO. OOOOOO , OOOOO OOOOOOO~~~~
Jung.Ban.Hap - Zheng.Fan.He. available in music stores near you.
=D
BAN PIRACYYYY! go get the zheng ban stuff so dong bang can earn a measly few cents!
but at least its better then nothing lah.. so gogogogogogogo! =D make dongbang rich today! hahahahahahah oh shit. im nuts.

xoxo

&hahahehehoho

2006-11-20T18:03:00.000-08:00

im hungry.
HUNGRYYYYY.
supposed to work today.
slept at 3 + woke up at seven.
i think im getting insomia or something stupid.
my com is down again.
tomorrow we're going to see dear firyn before she goes off!
aish.
im still hungry.
and im talking in sentences which dont really make sense strung tgt.
note each sentence and its content.
then you will realise they have totally no link to one another.
GOD. IM STILL HUNGRY.
but i dont want cereal.
shit. im talking to myself.

bye.

xoxo

&lalawonderland

2006-11-18T06:06:00.000-08:00

today, i shall officially start my beauty regime! PEOPLE MUST SUPPORT ME!

read an article on asianfanatics on the 5step regime for perfect korean skin. OMO. it made me so so motivated.
hence, i
- went to wash my face
- searched around for a mask to put, discovered there was none.
- MOISTURIZER! put some on.
went to play comp.
then, remembered about the hair mask thingy,
so went to bathe.
- put on the hair mask
and TADAHHH my hair is so so so smooth now. x)

shall repeat it tomorrow.

downloading vacation using bit torrent. x) it is so fucking slow i tell you.
omo.
lets check the percentage. grand total of 15.1 %! claps*
jia you bah.
i think my dear comp is going to break down soon. crosses fingers and prays hard**

today, recieved news that kim yongsu & family has returned after a long long period from
new york! aish. i wonder if they know DBSK. imagine if they do! oh well. im just dreaming again.

that wddr is so so so crazy. sigh. lets hope her cyjj gets well soon! maybe then she can return to normal. x) eh. but i wonder how normal can she be. HAHA. <3
cyjj seems quite nice too! haha.

TVXQQQQQQQQ. number of balloons image so far.
- animal style.
- 2nd animal style
- smurfs
- seven dwarfs!!!
i wonder how many images they can come up with.
KAWAIIIII!!!

shall blog some other time.
starting work soon! x)
i feel like eating hokkien mee.
x))))))

xoxo

&ahundredyellowribbons

2006-11-14T08:59:00.000-08:00

its been so so long since i've last blogged. so so long. these few days i have been a major potato. today is the class chalet. i think i'm missing out on a lot. LOL. re watching huan zhu ge ge, episode two. Wish i had episode one though. i think its so much more fun. i've taken to skipping the zi wei and er kang parts though.

the way they talk... {我的命中只有一个你。永远只有你。} {我的心里除了你还是你}and stuff like that. why can't they talk normally? I seriously cant stand it. Thank God i wasn't born during that time. i cant even read chim words properly, what will happen if i'm actually born during that time?

I'm comin' home, I've done my time
Now I've got to know what is and isn't mine
If you received my letter tellin' you
I'd soon be free
Then you'll know just what to do
if you still want me If you still want me

CHORUS:

Tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree
It's been three long years
Do you still want me?
If I don't see a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree
I'll stay on the bus
Forget about us
Put the blame on me
If I don't see a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree
Bus driver, please look for me 'Cause I couldn't bear to see what I might see
I'm really still in prison, and my love she holds the key
A simple yellow ribbon's what I need to set me free
I wrote and told her please:

REPEAT CHORUS

Now the whole damn bus is cheering
And I can't believe I see
A hundred yellow ribbons 'round the old oak tree
I'm comin' home

Tie a yellow ribbon. Its so so meaningful. The other day, Mr Choo sang it for us in the hall. Felt like crying actually. People make mistakes. Forgive them. Wrote a story. =D

i feel so lost on the forum.

xoxo

&imcrazyfor BALLOONS

2006-11-10T00:47:00.000-08:00

omgomgomgomgomg! im currently in a state of extreme highness. BEWAREEE! RAHHHH. watched balloons 5 minutes ago. OMOOOO!!! JAEJOONG SO CUTE! yes he was! he kept shaking that butt of his! x)))) they all were so cuteee! OMG.especially that rabbit boy. WAHHHH. omg. ok i need to calm down.

will be back.

xoxo

&lalala.

2006-11-09T20:58:00.000-08:00

my feet are numb. so so numb.

went out with eve yesterday. headed for DRX first. we walked the wrong way! so, we walked back. when we got there, our conversation went like this :

eve: what floor ah?
me: eleven!
eve: i think its eighteen leh
me: got so high one meh?
eve: aiya nvm we go eleven and eighteen fan zhen we still got time.

when we walked into the lift, i was staring at the lift buttons:

me: i think its 14 , 15, or 16 leh.

Elventh floor arrived. We walked out, and TA DAHHHH. it wasn't DRX at all. (It's this really creepy white place, like a laboratory, and it smells like the dentist's) To avoid humilation, of course we pretended that we were intending to do it. Clever me saw a toilet, and naturally went in. Eve called her mum i think then we went out and waited for the lift.

it was on the sixteenth and eve insisted that she was closer to being right. =x

i think i love DRX.the way they wash your face is... oh so so so soothing. i wish i can get my face washed by others everyday. soon soon, my complexion will be G-R-E-A-T. i hope so x=

then, we proceeded to cine for dinner. the korean food place beside the korean mart. i love their noodles! cheap and good. x) yummmm. i feel like eating that now. walked around but their wasnt anything to buy other then eve's O. went to heeren next. nearly walked the wrong way, BUT. we didnt x)

saw a shop with quirky clothing. i like! x) shall go shopping more often. walked walked walked then spotted this shop selling shoes! oh yes the shoes are cute. the end result?

eve bought black&white pointed pumps for idk how much. i bought white wedges which had ribbons on them for 39.90$ the reason i know how much it cost was cause eve paid for me first.

tomorrow, i am going shopping.

now, i am hungry.

just now, i skipped physics and chemistry because there were so freaking little people who attended art. i think my class is so so united in these areas. like everyone will think {aiya last day go for what.} LOL.

i have a big big craving for those noodles and meatball soup. shall go pester my dad to go buy lunch. x) pictures from ystd up next! maybe.

xoxo

&dongbangdongbang

2006-11-08T20:12:00.000-08:00

Last picture from that night at Jalan Kayu. "PBC WE LOVE YOUUU!" x)
when her re-exams are over. shall wait for whb to send me her pics.
ah i love love them.

didnt go for school. Kind of overslept accidentally on purpose. x= told karen i'd be gng when
she called but i slept again. aishh.
im hungry. yesterday, i ate a lot. today, i swear im not going to eat so much. i think i grew so much fatter.

seeing you again made me think of how we used to be. do i miss it? maybe. sometimes.
would i want it again? maybe. yes.
are you important? yes. but not as much as you used to matter.
i'm finally getting over it, but im still missing it.
RAHHH.

shopping on friday or saturday anyone? okay i'm talking to shiqi and eve. =x

i shall:
- reduce my fats
- not eat so much
- study
- go shopping
- enjoy myself
- take korean lessons
- work
- do a good job in the eoy's
- shopping
- shopping
- shopping
- get a digi cam
- idk yet.

im tired. tired tired tired. daddy told me to get lunch but i dont want too. but he asked so nicely! and and and. i'll feel guilty. but my hair is pinned up my eyes are practically closed till their non-existant. I WANT TO GO SHOPPINGGG! RAHHH.

i have the urge and need to shop. i want to shop i want to shop.
shoppingggg. makes me go lalalalala. im officially going nuts.
BRAZIL NUTS.
ah fuckit. lol. byebye.

xoxo

&ILOVEDONGBANGSHINKI!

2006-11-08T00:50:00.000-08:00

im tired. so so so tired. went to jalan kayu yesterday with whb and karen for dinner. obviously, we ate pratas! im lazy to photoshop. chose the better looking photos to edit. shall post it up now. damn im tired.

before we started : (unedited =/)

the end of our pig out :

The king of Pratas. Meet the:

From the left WHB, ME, KAREN :

Karen and me on the bus :

some others coming up. shall edit it later. The wonders of photoshop! Even basic photoshop like this makes the pictures look much better! x) i want a digicam please. GAH.

i seriously need some shut eye. Practically falling asleep and having a million typos. =1

Went to Cathay with Karen and Hubing. After Baochuan takes her re-exams its time to go out & have lotsa fun. x) Watched 'The Grudge Two' and there was Edison Chen. Dared Karen to say 'Eh he's my boyfriend' when he appeared, and she really did -.- the cinema had a grand total of 6 + 3 = 9 people! Most of them were couples, and they sat super quietly all throughout the movie. how can people stay so still when their watching such a scary movie?! Maybe we were the noisy ones. LOL. cause we were screaming and laughing and talking all the way. The ghost is so poor thing lah. Took pictures of the cinema. They're with Huibing now. Since she has to go to work, i shall post them up tomorrow or something. I like that cinema even though its kind of creepy. It's big and wonderfully empty though it was super scary when we were watching the movie. Imagine watching a ghost show with so many empty rows of seats behind, in front and beside you. Imagine someone's sitting beside you quietly, but that someone isn't anyone alive. Imagine it slowly turning around, showing it's pale pale face. Imagine it grinning at you and it's teeth are decayed, and it's eyeballs are simply sockets with nothing inside. BRRRR. I got scared typing that. Move on move on.

We were nearly late for the movie! But in the end we made it. I said {If we can make it wo men jiu shi shen xian!} and we did. That means we're Shen Xian's! x)

School tomorrow. Bored.

Oh yes. Eve and Shiqi is coming home today! Wonder if their plane landed alrd. =/ oh well. i want to go DRX!

ok next up: shopping trip to find performance clothes. I need it. seriously. I want to dye my hair! Ariel msg-ed me ystd: Color + Highlights + Treatment + Haircut = $128. actually, it's quite a good bargain. very good bargain actually.

i want to go for a manicure, pedicure, whatever what nots to enjoy. Spas and massages and facials and and and and shopping trips with the girls. I so so need to work. =/ Hair please grow longer faster!

I'm supposed to go to sleep -.- Hope i can miraculously wake up and find myself super thin. How the hell do people slim down other then by exercising and not eating?

Note to self: watch the 10.30 - 11.30 show tonight.

Another Note: Do art tomorrow.

ps : since this post has nothing to do at all with Dong Bang Shin Ki, the title shall be named for them. <3

xoxo

&Ps: im still not over you

2006-11-06T04:09:00.000-08:00

I think I'm still in love with {Ps: I'm still not over you} Yes. I'm still NOT over it. God! it seriously is nice. Shall go listen to it, and i'll cheat too. I'll use Youtube. x)

Watched ANTM cycle two on youtube, right up to the 10th episode. couldnt find the eleventh. Shendi slept with her boyfriend, and her boyfriends reaction was @*)@# was was only normal. And showed that he loves her. Anyway, he was so totally sweet. Seriously! Like, she was crying her eyeballs out and he was like. {I'm angry at you, but im also excited.} or sth like that. {You push yourself and try to get yourself a contract alright?} OR sth like that .LOL. yes and made me go. [awwww. i want one too!] boyfriend, i mean. okay pathetic much? lol

fishball noodles. x)be right back!

xoxo

&cantimaginemewithoutyou

2006-11-04T06:11:00.000-08:00

put a song into my blog. initially wanted to put in a dongbang song. however, changed my mind, and put in {Imagine Me Without You}

Its such a sweet song.

{I can't imagine me... Without You..} Found some connections x)
RAHH. i'm so so bored. i dont want my life to be like that everyday.
Shopppinggggg!
re read some of my previous chats. wtf. i was so irritating, not to mention twitty.
i dnt know how people could stand me. i've found out that i've forgotten a lot of things that
supposedly happened. i totally cant remember. maybe im suffering from some disease. GAH.

xoxo

&wheniclosemyeyes

2006-11-02T21:41:00.000-08:00

失去你，少了一点点呼吸的能力
没了你，眼泪没了存在的意义
没了恋爱怎么忘记陶醉的影印
当我闭上眼睛而看到的都是你

I was just trying to be poetical. Translated {Till I closed my eyes and all I saw was You} Took it from a fanfic I read a few days ago. Fell in love with that sentence and immediately changed my MSN personal message.

I wonder what they are doing right now. Its fifteen minutes to two, so it is fifteen minutes to three over in Korea. Eating a late lunch? I hope not.

Shall be back later.

xoxo

&thelipsofanangel

2006-11-01T03:23:00.000-08:00

i decided to post up song lyrics. i guess im in one of my moods again. i think..
why isn't my fic up to it's sad part? then i can really write something sad. i guess i just really need to cry now.

Honey why are you calling me so late
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why are you crying is everything okay
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud
Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
Its really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say Goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel'

It's funny that you're calling me tonigh
And yes I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue
Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say Goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say Goodbye

It's not the full version of the song. I was lazy to type out the whole lyrics.

i've decided to fall in love with someone who never existed, because then he'll never be able to break my heart.

I never want to say Goodbye. God, i think im going nuts. I'm scared i'll turn into some psychopath. but i guess i won't. i'm changing. a lot. for the better or the worse? i don't know yet. Off to write more.

xoxo

&allittakes

2006-10-31T04:13:00.000-08:00

Fuck this world. Wt just showed me two pictures of people in poverty. One was of a small beggar boy, eating off the FLOOR.

He looks so scrawny.. imagine having to BEG at such a tender age. no one should have to beg at ALL. he has nothing to eat at all. and what are we doing? sitting comfortably, worrying about stupid stuff. all material things pale in comparision to such things. what is he going through now? this is CHINA. not Africa for fucking sake. such things are going on every single day. people DIE from poverty related issues. People starve to death. why why why?

look! the rich gets their shoes polished or something by the poor. i wonder. how can that woman SMILE? its just not right. maybe they were raised in an enviroment that makes them think that such stuff are common, and there OUGHT to be poor people around. no more world poverty please! i wonder how can people be so childish as to start a fucking war. bombings everywhere. the people suffering from such useless wars are the commoners! the actual people living in that country, going through hell everyday. the war wasn't something that they had caused and still they have to go through it? the fuckers who start the war are sitting comfortably somewhere. it doesnt really affect them much, does it?

fuck. they are so childish. END WORLD POVERTY TODAY.
sometimes i really wonder if liking tvxq is worth it when i look at such photos.
i have all i want and more.. i can go to school. i can use the computer. i have my friends, and family. i dont have to worry about where to sleep, or whether i have food or not. sigh. its hard to give up materialistic stuff when im not going through. fuck im confused.

xoxo

&allittakes

2006-10-31T02:08:00.000-08:00

i remain silent,
because i know you'd understand.
you leave me speechless,
because you're more then words.

sweetie, you know you're more then words to me,
because you make me speechless.

i wonder what it will feel like ten years down the road,
when i see you and i remember.
i was once so in love with you.
will i still be then?

i finally know what i want, and im never letting go.
cause it's too important to me.
Even more so then anything else.
hard work, sweat, tears and maybe even a little blood.
i'm prepared.
nothing's going to stop me, no matter what stands in my way.

felt the urge to type in this format.
shall be more poetic today onwards. i shall try.
x) im gone.

xoxo

&whenifallasleep

2006-10-30T01:29:00.000-08:00

just finished reading alien's fanfic. My God it was good. extremely sweet at some parts, and kind of heart wrenching at others. Jaejoong + Junsu + Girl = Love triangle. I love how it ended.. So mysterious! & so much room for imagination. can't wait for lavender to be updated.

halfway doing the discography. TVXQ has so so many Singles. Why couldn't i like them from 2003? 3 years ago i was still going crazy over 5566. x) such a long time ago.

Someone said that TVXQ wasn't talented. I scolded him, but he said something that i couldn't rebuke. {If you said that they had to TRAIN, what talent do they have?} i showed him their one of their O live performance and told him to shut his fucking ass up or something like that. Yes, TVXQ seems to others as maybe a band with just a pretty face. They aren't. they are so much more. No-one outside their fanbase really sees how hard things were for them before. No one really knew what they went through before they could debute. Shit those people who look down on artistes. They trained their asses off in order to realize their dream. They don't owe their popularity to anyone cause they deserve to be who they are today.

anti-fans can jolly well PISS off. you may not like someone for whatever absurd reason, but that doesn't give any of you guys excuses to harm ANY body you dislike. They aren't Gods like what we fans like to think. they are humans too. Kindly think it through before attempting to do something freakishly stupid. Remember the Yunho incident and stay away.

weird post. didn't mean to blog about such stuff. AH WHO CARES. i wonder what the anti-fans will think if they somehow read this post. Someone please let them grow up sometime soon. x)thanks a bunch.

xoxo

&whenifallasleep

2006-10-29T23:18:00.000-08:00

im so so tired from school today. going to fall asleep at any moment now, but i shall go tidy up the forum library instead. it needs to be tidied up. God knows how long since i've actually been there. =x mianhae! didn't notice forum requests there too! be right back to blog somemore.

i dont feel like going school tomorrow. someone save me please!

ps: new jaejoong graphic up! simpler this time, with {black&white} versus {color} as the theme. not much color, just a splash of orange, green and red. BAH. i have remedial art lessons tomorrow. who ever heard of remedial lessons in ART?!

xoxo
kae-i

&brandnew

2006-10-27T23:05:00.000-07:00

found a new skin. i like this kinds of layout for my blog. looks neater, plus i can experiment with different images. ok i shall go dl gimp now. one jaejoong picture, coming right up! =D

xoxo
kae-i

&第一个想起的人

2006-10-27T04:34:00.000-07:00

i suddenly feel kind of... heavy, like somethings pulling me down, although i have no idea what. went to some blogs of people i know, and their entries just made me feel.. sad? even though it wasn't really meant to be sad at all.

people hate goodbyes, because it means the end. people promise, they really DO promise with all their heart, and yet, they break them in the end. some people say its forever, and when you really put your heart into believing, the next thing you know, its gone. It hurts to know that you don't matter as much to the person who means the world to you. Who do we trust?

好希望你能像那时所说的一样，就那样一直陪在我的身旁。。 people grow, they grow apart from one another. they say its part and parcel of life. but why give me something when you're going to take it away? 我有时就会想。。其实宁愿从来都不认识。。maybe i wouldn't get hurt sometimes. 别人说我傻。。说，根本就不值得这样为他这么想。。 true. maybe i wasn't anything to him then, even more so i'm not anything to him now. 他对我来说，也只是一个，从前的从前，曾经和我一起度过日子的一位朋友。。 nothing more, nothing less. i guess it's absurd to be caring so much for someone whom i'm sure isn't more then a friend to me. 他。。永远会是那么重要的吧？when will i be able to get over him? 我也不知道。。好想念。。真的真的好想他。pathetic.

shall come back to blog in a few minutes time.

xoxo
kae-i

&itsalongwayfromthefuture

2006-10-26T02:51:00.000-07:00

learning korean from Youtube now. Theres a good show that was uploaded there. It's quite good from all the comments, so I'm going to go through with it, considering i have no way to learn korean other then from Irin when she gets back and goes to her korean lessons.

parent teacher meeting later. i think i am so so dead. failed three subjects. aiiish. should have studied more. i shall cultivate good studying habits from now on! AJA AJA PAITING! =D

xoxo,
kae-i

&hold tight baby

2006-10-24T08:12:00.000-07:00

all right. tomorrow i have to go to school again. i think i'll most probably get laughed at. I cut my bloody fringe! stupid stupid rash impulses. was looking into the mirror and hated my fringe. took those children sicssors and SNIP. gone gone gone. sigh. i hate myself. MY HAIR GROWS FREAKING SLOWLYYY. and now its gone. poor poor poor hair. ima sorry.

have no idea what to wear for eoy. don't know why i'm so kan chiong for EOYs. hm. most probably i'll just get a tube dress + nice half jacket + those superly cute belts + really high peep toe heels. I saw this pair of shoes that was so so adorable! black, and with a band over it, plus high heels. looks kinda like maryjanes, only with high heels! WAHHH. so cute. =D i think my mum thinks im nuts. going crazy over wacky stuff like polka dotted shoes that looks horrible. =x
aish. i want to go shopping!~~

went to sakae. waited darn long to get it but never mind! i'm still so so so full from that dinner. i'm going on a diet for the rest of the month! LOL. aunty came back today to clean up the house. its so clean now!! i can SEE the floor of my room, plus my bed sheets are cleaned. SHE SHOULD COME BACK OFTEN. =D evacuated my dong bang stuff when she knocked over a poster of jaejoong though. literally screamed. ahhhhh. oh well. dong bang comes first ! =D<3

going to watch gokusen in a few seconds. shall be back. that show is... superb. even though the lead actress who goes by the nickname of "Yankumi" is a little bit over the top, she STILL IS my idol! The show gets predictable after awhile (you know when she kicks butt when she unties her hair and takes off her glasses), but wooshhh~ i never get over how well this story goes. Each story plot in each episode has a twist. My eyes couldn't take it in some episodes. The tears just kept coming. the way they each sacrificed for their friend, the way yankumi gave her all for her students, the way they stood up for each other, and the way they learned how to apreciate the finer things in life. This drama really really made me more aware of the superficiality of todays society. No good grades? Look like someone dangerous? Sorry, you're out. Is that fair at all? Elites may be good at studying, and at handling themselves properly in front of others, but do they really know what is life? do they really know what's outside their safe circles? No. not at all. they judge others based on their looks and qualifications. So what if you're smart? so what if you're filthy rich? SO WHAT?! it doesn't matter at all when it comes down to the heart. people who are "perfect" in terms of the expectations of todays society is in fact, nothing more then people who will not know what it means to be a friend. Yankumi taught me that. OK i think ima getting too serious. =l anyway. i hope she ends up with matsumoto-jun! even though she didn't. but he liked her! i think i shall start the manga. heard that she found out in there.

i think my few seconds were too long.

xoxo
kaei

&if i'm worth it

2006-10-22T05:59:00.000-07:00

im not in a good mood at all. The air outside reeks of ashes, and i can't breathe properly. Hopefully i'll be able to finish watching Gokusen.

Went shopping for boots just now at Taka. Tried on boots that Irin and i found at U.R.S inc. * shakes head * i shall not buy boots anymore. The LWS EOY preparation is quite fun actually. We discussed about makeup, clothes and stuff. at least Irin is intrested in makeup now! Instead of boots i think i'm going to buy peep-toe shoes with really really high heels, checkered pants from bugis, a ruffled shirt from idk where, and a jacket. Hopefully all these will cost less then 100$. My daddy wants me to give up the addidas jacket to abigail. SHE wants it cause its "branded" what the fuck. why must her jacket be so ex? there are perfectly fine jackets out there that can fit her (i hope) that are nice and cheap. fuck her. Fine. i spend A LOT of money, but at least im not brand conscious. Mindless idiot, following the crowd. dps.

ah. i wonder what Dong Bang is doing now. it's around ten there now i guess. sleeping? i dont think so. hopefully they ate already. =x

ah shit those people. its fucking smelly outside!

irin and shiki are going to shanghai on thursday. bon voyage ladies! <33333

shall go watch gokusen now although it hasnt loaded yet. Dear God, please not let mumu scream at me again. I'm afraid i wont be able to resist hurling a few sarcastic insults back towards her. I shall NOT utter ANY vulgarities tomorrow. that shall be my goal for the day. =D

xoxo
kae-i

&hold my hand

2006-10-20T04:38:00.000-07:00

My daddy's not going to come back with dinner anytime soon.. He said {Around nine luh...} Then I was like {KAO! Like that can eat supper already leh!} I'm sad. No dinner! Lately I have been so so greedy. Eating and eating and eating. I'm going to grow even fatter soon.. =(

The Goong lead actress just gave me the idea for my esemble for the EOY exam! Boots paired with skinny pants, then a white office-like shirt, and a black heavy outer coat. It looks nice! I shall crimp my hair. I think. My hair is too short for curls. I can't wait to go shopping! daddy agreed to loan me, and even offered to pay it for me if i studied hard. =DD mumu ignored me when i asked her! AISH. I'm hungry. shall get one of the twins to buy dinner =D

Changmin sang Timeless with Junsu. Haven't heard it yet although it has been out for quite some time. No speakers! I think I'm going to strangle myself soon. I feel like eating... KFC! Cheese fries + the mushroom burgers + coke. Ok I'm hungry. Third post so far......

xoxo
kae-i

&hold my hand

2006-10-19T21:59:00.000-07:00

for the past few days, I haven't been really using the computer because my com is down with a virus. once the com is up and running again, i'll go contribute full time to the forum and enjoy myself. (immerse myself with dbsk videos). this lappie doesn't even have a sound system, so there's no point in watching videos with the people inside mouthing off soundlessly.

watched this video {over the mountain} or something, at eve's house the day before. dongbang looked so ... humane! that video was before yunho's incident. i have come to a conclusion about them after watching it. {Dong Bang Shin Ki is a nice boyband} i mean reeaally nice. there was a taxi uncle who said that his friend met them once, and they weren't people who his friend would make friends with... almost believed it for a tiny sec, but hey, they aren't like that, and that video proves my point. they dressed up in ridiculous clothing, pulled their pants up to their armpits, flapped their arms around, danced like (cute) retards, and micky even wore ridiculous sideburns! even if they WERE forced to do that, they had a choice of whether to enjoy it, or simply do something to get it over with. i think they really enjoyed it, which proves that they are NICE people.

i cannot accept anti-fans who pitch themselves against artistes and proclaim their hatred for the artistes who did NOT do anything to them. is that fair? no. not at all. i wonder, how can people just hate others without reason, even going to the extent of blindly following their "hatred" and doing something stupid. Who's left to pick up their pieces? That girl didn't really suffer. Yunho did. Dong bang did. their FANS did. not her. is she really sorry? sincerely apologetic or merely playacting so as to ensure she gets out of trouble? let's hope this incident taught all the anti-fans to STAY AWAY. the law has long long long extremely LONG arms, so BACK OFF.

its going to be a long post. sometimes i wonder why five guys can make so many people go crazy. sometimes i wonder whether its worth it to be a fan. however, through all these wonderings, i always come to the same conclusion: its ALWAYS worth it. they have become the only source that will make me really really intrested, and happy. not too long ago someone said {wah ni yi shuo qi ta men yan jing fa liang leh!} or something like that. im sorry mumu. i'm really too in love with them.

ok i shall go away now. may be back because i have absolutely nothing to do. may search for a tagboard. may fall asleep. may starve to death before daddy comes back with lunch. may grow old before my com gets repaired. aish~

xoxo
kae-i

&hold my hand

2006-10-19T21:14:00.000-07:00

this shall be my fixed blog. i hope. shall go to edit the template.
be right back to edit.

xoxo
kae-i